I’m a bit lonely. Today was just like any other day, but had more rest than usual, which is nice. but it seems like I had too much rest because I’m restless. and I keep thinking about you and who you might be and what we might become and if you really exist but maybe I’m just overthinking.
I can’t help but think that what if I’d be alone for the rest of my life and God knows if he’d allow romance or He would be my romance till the day I die, which I don’t mind. But I hear people speak to me that I’ll find you or you’ll find me but right now I could not see that that is where we are both heading.
meeting at a crossroad in life unexpectedly is romantic but what if I missed my light or you missed yours? what if I made a wrong turn and in the end we didn’t really cross paths?
but I’m sorry that though it’s still this early I already doubt that God can give both of us something good even if it’s each other, and would help each other grow. I’m sorry if I think I deserve something bad because of who I am discounting that God had already saved me. and saved you.
I’m sorry for overthinking so many things where I could just count on Him to pull us through despite mistakes and mishaps.
and I wish I could trust Him more today that he holds your life and my life in his hands, so pray for me too.
and this might be the reason why we haven’t met yet, because God still needs to work on my life and probably your life, because I’m not ready to love you the way you should be loved. if I would have to give you my best, God still has to change my heart because it’s too wrapped up in its own selfishness that it will not love you.
and I hope when we meet I’d be ready and you’d he too, and we would allow God to work on both of our lives together.